If you are reading this, you have been issued:

• a notebook fireproofed up to most temperatures (avoid dragon-class events),
• a multi-translation quill (do not switch it to “Sarcastic Portuguese” unless you intend to start a diplomatic incident), and
• a personal liability waiver (signed in triplicate).

Your mission: Document, survive, observe, catalog, and occasionally flee from all major features of South America.

To accomplish this, ACME requires two official document types for each country:

PART I — FIELD AGENT JOURNAL REQUIREMENTS

The Field Agent Journal is a long-form, richly detailed record created by each agent during active exploration.
It must include facts, illustrations, diagrams, maps, and ACME-style observational humor.
These journals often survive explosions better than the agents who write them, so accuracy is appreciated.

Every journal must be organized by country (one complete journal section per country) and must include the following mandatory components:

1. Introduction to the Country

1. Name of the country
2. Capital city
3. Geographic location
4. Any fun ACME warnings (example: “Bolivia contains an estimated 2.4 million alpacas; do not attempt to ride without certification Class A-Alpaca.”)

2. Biomes & Environmental Zones

Explain and illustrate:

1. Major biomes (rainforest, highlands, deserts, pampas, wetlands, Andean zones, coastal plains, etc.)
2. Climate zones
3. Notable flora and fauna
4. ACME-specific threats (e.g., “The Giant Patagonian Wind, capable of blowing hats into the next time zone.”)
5. Minimum of one hand-drawn or digitally created illustration per biome.

3. Major Cities

For at least three major cities per country:

1. Name and population
2. Historical importance
3. Cultural landmarks
4. What an ACME agent should never do there (e.g., “Do NOT order decaffeinated coffee in São Paulo. They will know.”)
5. Illustration of at least one city (skyline, emblem, or agent’s sketch).

4. Country History Overview

Must include:

1. Founding peoples
2. Colonial period
3. Independence movements
4. Key historical figures
5. Major revolutions, conflicts, reforms
6. Modern developments

Sidebars encouraged:

• “Fun Facts that May or May Not Alarm You”
• “ACME Inventions That Altered History but Were Later Banned”
• “Historical Mishaps That We Absolutely Deny Causing”

5. Languages

1. Official language(s)
2. Indigenous language families
3. Regional dialects
4. Unique sayings and idioms
5. Parody ACME translations (e.g., “Colombian Spanish phrase meaning: ‘Yes, the coffee is stronger than your willpower.’”)

6. Culture

Include:

1. Family structures
2. Traditions
3. Art, clothing, celebrations
4. Social etiquette
5. Humor style (critical for undercover missions)
6. Agents must record at least one accidental faux pas they committed.

7. Geographic Features

Full profiles of:

1. Mountain ranges
2. Rivers
3. Deserts
4. Lakes
5. Islands
6. Forests
7. Borders
8. Elevation extremes
9. Illustration requirement: At least one cross-section diagram of something very tall or very deep.

8. Economy

Cover:

1. Major industries
2. Exports & imports
3. Agriculture
4. Natural resources
5. Technology & innovation sectors
6. Economic challenges
7. Include an ACME economist’s footnote (e.g., “At this point, we are still unsure how Brazil produces so much coffee without causing time paradoxes.”).

9. Food

1. Agents must document:
2. National dishes
3. Street foods
4. Cooking traditions
5. Common ingredients
6. One food that tried to kill them
7. Sketch at least one meal.

10. Music & Arts

1. Every journal requires:
2. Major musical traditions
3. Instruments
4. Festivals
5. Modern genres
6. Famous artists
7. Unique art forms
8. Provide at least one sound-exposure warning (e.g., “Do not stand directly in front of samba drums if wearing loose dental fillings.”).

11. Holidays & Festivals

Explain:

1. National holidays
2. Historical commemorations
3. Religious observances
4. Regional celebrations
5. One festival that an ACME agent should avoid entering without a costume

12. Additional Required Categories (ACME Optional-but-Actually-Mandatory Section)

These appear in ALL journals:

1. Political overview (form of government, brief overview)
2. Flag
3. Natural Hazards (earthquakes, volcanoes, storms, rogue llamas)
4. ACME Field Notes (mistakes, breakthroughs, fleeing moments)
5. Invention Tests & Results (including failures)
6. Local Legends & Mythology
7. Creature Encounters (real or ambiguously real)
8. Agent Survival Tips for This Region
9. Sketches of Artifacts, Tools, Ruins, and Snacks