Company promises “valuable hands-on experience,” minimal smoke.
SOFIA, BULGARIA — In a daring step toward “the future of mildly supervised innovation,” ACME Gears, Inc. has announced the launch of its newest educational partnership: The ACME Junior Research Initiative, hosted at Sofia Christian Academy.
The program aims to “inspire young minds to pursue careers in science, technology, and controlled detonation.” Students will have the opportunity to assist ACME engineers in developing cutting-edge inventions such as the solar-powered shadow generator, self-reversing bicycle, and the eagerly anticipated Instant Hole 2.0 (Now 40% Easier to Find Again).
According to ACME’s Director of Experimental Education, Dr. Hiram Blotts, the internship will give students “unforgettable memories, valuable laboratory skills, and possibly new haircuts.” Each intern will receive a complimentary pair of safety goggles, a clipboard, and a waiver absolving ACME of all incidents classified under “unexpected innovation.”
Sofia Christian Academy’s Board of Directors praised the collaboration, noting that ACME’s hands-on approach “perfectly complements our students’ curiosity, courage, and willingness to sign multi-page disclaimers.” The program will culminate in an Intern Showcase Day, where families can admire functioning prototypes—or at least the scorch marks where they once stood.
ACME Gears remains confident that this partnership will “pave the way for a new generation of fearless inventors,” or at minimum, create a few excellent college essays titled ‘What I Learned While On Fire.’
Enrollment is now open for the spring semester. Spaces are limited. Fire extinguishers are not.